A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

Want to hear a good joke? The NBA.

What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

Why? Because racecar.

Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

Whats 9 + 10 19

Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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