what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Sarah Palin

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So a seal walks into a club...

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? You Whoa...

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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