how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

thumb_up thumb_down +3

1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Kony 2012

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Chuck Norris can watch TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops