there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What color is a banana? yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops