Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

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women's rights

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What did the muslim get for christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

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Knock knock. Who is their? Grammar. Grammar who? Of course you don't know.

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What do you call a hispanic man hopping a large fence? A hispanic man hopping a large fence.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops