Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

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Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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