A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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what's black, white, and red all over? a penguin stuck in a blending machine

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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What do you do when you see a person sleeping at a bus stop? You fart on their head

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

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Why did the mum scream at the boy? Because he was being stupid

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1 out of 4 questions. How do you get a girrafe in a fridge? Open it, put the girrafe in, and close it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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