The Sentence Below Is True The Sentence Above Is False

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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knock knock

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Poop

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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