I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

Why didn't he finish his

Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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