What did the black man say to his wife on valentines day? - You are fat

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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What did the Asian dad say to his son when he got an A- in math? Good job son.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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boys

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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guess what what that wasnt it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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My friend was in court for stealling smoothies so i told him to plead innocent and received 10 years in a federal prison and a fine of up too £5000 pounds

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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Canadians

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops