What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +19

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops