What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

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Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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