How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man gets kicked in the testicles... Ow

thumb_up thumb_down -21

THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down -21

y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops