Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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How many Jews can you fit inside a car? Legally somewhere between 2 and 9 depending on seat belt availability and passenger space.

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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