Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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