Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

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Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

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fava beans

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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