Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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What is a 6.9? A period getting in the way of a good time!

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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whats worse than speaking with your mouth full? pooing with your mouth full

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A French man gets into a fight

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the story below is a truee story...unfortunately!!!!!!!!! :'(

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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why did he cat not land on its feet? it had 2 legs amputated due to cancer and animal abuse

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this kid named terry stockton thought it was funny to get someone in the ankle lace then the kid got up and pucnched him in the face so hard he had a seizure

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Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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A Christian asks God why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. Everyone around him moves away from the grown man talking to his imaginary friend.

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me and joey are going to watch the football game, at this point you relize you shouldn't hang out with joey and the other guy because it is joey and I not me and joey

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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