-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call a black clerk? one of the 2 billion people with a job, u bum!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops