how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

the redsox

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

save me from the nothing ive become

I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

how do you finish a 30000 piece puzzle you search for cheat codes

Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

how many black men did it take to steal from the whitehouse? Obama.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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