A dog is always in the pushup position.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she.

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fish fishy caoimhin

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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why did he cat not land on its feet? it had 2 legs amputated due to cancer and animal abuse

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

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What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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Nah

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Chip and Dale walk into a bar. Chip is black now.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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