Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the car stop To buy drugs

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

thumb_up thumb_down -14

DEATH.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened to the disabled man who went to Disneyland? He had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops