Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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Why did the boy take the girls backpack? he has this many hands

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Asians

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An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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A man walks into a bar gets hurt and falls over

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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John: I just ran over a cat... Just kidding! It was your mum.

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a christian man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a jewish man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a muslim man asked god a question. he too, did not get an answer. an atheist man asked god a question. he got his answer.

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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