How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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Yo mama so fat She could die any day.

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10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Can you guess what one black child got while passing through an all-white neighborhood in the middle of the night? Home safely.

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What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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i just wrote this so hard

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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Title IX

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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