roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

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What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

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roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

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yo mama is so fat that wii fit puts her in the overweight category

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Cum on guys....gay jokes are mean

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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your mom is so stupid she got raped

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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How do you save a black person from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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potatoes

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How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

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so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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