Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Q: why does the fire breather hate his job A: his parents were burned to death MR

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How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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