"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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guest what i love pancakes

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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How High is a Chinese man

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops