What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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Q: How do you cure cancer? A: By die aids first

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A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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Whats In My Trash? Bears

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What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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