Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

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Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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