Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

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MySpace.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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Why did the blonde switch the lamp on? Because it was getting dark

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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hey im leon and i love the chuckie

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Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

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Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

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what's pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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Bob and Joe are talking about how their grandfathers died in the Hulacaust. Bob says "Mine died in the gas chambers" Joe says "Mine got drunk and fell off the guard tower.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops