Dan walked into a jelly fish

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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what do you call a baby in a blender? A really funny event.

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Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Do you want icecream, Björn?

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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Some woman's like "Make me a sandwich!" Some guy's like "No way!" The woman says "Or I'll rape you!" "Allright. Fine with m... Wait... I thought women didn... I mean couldn.. you know.." "Rape?" "No, eat sandwiches!"

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Your mam is so fat.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I 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thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Pikachu say to Charmander? Nothing. Pokemon are fictional creatures, and thus, do not exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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