Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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what leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? A STAB WOUND!

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What do you call a cow that's holy? Holy Cow

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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What did the man say to the waiter when he was about to tip him? I'm not gay, but $20 is $20.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops