How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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Why was the black boy late for school? He missed the bus

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Charles Manson is innocent.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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Jesus walks into a church only to be touched inappropriately.

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops