So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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A man finds a mysterious lamp on the side of the road. He picks it up, rubs it, and sells the lamp at a pawn shop for $10,000. The man paid off his credit card debt and was happy that he did not have to file for bankruptcy.

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Psychics.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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How does shit taste?\ Good.

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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You just wasted time of your life reading this, and perhaps even more wasted time thumbing this down.

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Hi

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Batman. Batman who? Batman is stunned by the fact that there is in fact someone that does not know him.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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In soviet russia, 6 is not afraid of 7

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Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

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Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

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A man... walks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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