haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

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Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

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I'm a fork. Fork you!!

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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A man penetrates another man.

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are all on a trian. The white guy says "We should all through something off the train that we have too much of in this country." The mexican throws a sombraro of the train and says " We have too many of these in this country." The black guy throws a gun off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country." The white guy pushes the mexican off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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