Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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A man walks into a bar, Esept it wasn't a bar and he was running.

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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Person 1: Can I ask you a question? Person 2: You just did.

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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knock knock who's there? orange orange who? orang you glad i didn't say knock knock agian

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

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What did the falling bridge say to the other bridge? Well bridges can't talk but if it could it, then it would say AHH! I am falling

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How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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69

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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