What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

shut up iggy

your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

cliché rebecca black joke.

When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

what did hitler say before he turned on the gas who are you calling a dick dina

Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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