How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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Women's rights.

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

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A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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Q :Why cant mexicans be firemen A :because they get mixed up by Hosea and Hose B

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

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Tom: So I heard a pretty good Anti-Joke the other day. Jim: Oh, I love those!! What was it? Tom: [says nothing]

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raisin boogers

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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