What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

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No.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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A man went to the doctor. He had experienced some strong abdominal pain. The doctor looked at him and ordered some tests to be done. He had a kidney stone. The day after he passed the stone, he got ran over by a bus. The man's name was Bob.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase as a chicken its intulect this very low so walking in the middle of the street was it's 1st instest. Ther'for it crossed the road and made it to the other side safe. Now please don't ask me a stupid question like that again.

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A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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guess what chicken butt

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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s e m e n

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

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The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

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Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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