What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

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What do you call a person mowing a lawn? A Mexican

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What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

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Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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why did kyle and jake have sex? Because they were gay.

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whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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