A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

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Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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Q: What happened when three lions escaped from the zoo? A: Animal patrol came and tranquilized all three.. Unfortunantly one of the lions died from to much tranq.

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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What happens if Chuck Norris meets a Transformer? Nothing. They would converse, then go their separate ways. Or Chuck would get killed. Horribly.

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Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

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What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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shut up kobe!

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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