What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

<=3 penis

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Last guy is a Joke thief Love, T.R.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do u know that your obese ? People stare at you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did Harry Potter get for christmas? ... nothing his parents are dead !

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops