Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

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What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

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What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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Haikus can be fun But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

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Q: How did the black man die? A: He got hit by a car, and we all know that this is painful.

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Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

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How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

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What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

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Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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