please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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poo

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When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

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i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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How do you spell eight? 8

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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Meow.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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