Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

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Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

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Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

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What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

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A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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you will now laugh.

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If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The inter- You have cancer

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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