whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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FUCK THE CHRISTIANS

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What's brown and sticky? The british econonic system from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007.

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What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

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Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

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I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

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What do you call a black guy that drives a plane? A pilot

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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Q) Why was six afraid of seven? A) Seven was black.

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How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

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Why did the book disappear?

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Why was the African Americanfemale at an abortion clinic? Because she just killed a child.

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Whats worse then people People copying other Anti-Jokes. People copying other Anti-Jokes about the holocaust.

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A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 6's boss, has been sexually assaulting 6 for years at work, but 6 needs the money too bad to say anything or quit his job.

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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