Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

96

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

you know whats funny the letter Q

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A policeman walks into a bar. He goes inside to greet his friend who happens to be the bartender. Another man walks into the bar. This man is a regular customer and goes to the bar almost every other night. The policeman leaves and goes back on duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock, knock. come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow Jones.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops