What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What did the peanut say to the jelly

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Oh," the boy says. "Well BUENOS DIAS to you too!!!

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Neither have I

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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BOTTOM!!!

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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Rose are red Violets are blue And I really hate you Friends?????

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Their ancestral heritage

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What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops