a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So this old redneck is sitting on his porch when he sees this boy walking down the road and hollers "What you got there boy?" "Chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old guy thought: Dumb boy. You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire. Later that evening he sees the same boy walking with a bunch of chickens. The next day he sees the same boy walking with duct tape. "What you got there boy?" "Duct tape" The boy replies. "Gonna catch me some ducks." The old man leaned back and thought. "Dumb boy, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Later that evening he sees the boy walking with a bunch of ducks. The next day he sees the same boy and hollers: "What you got there boy?" "I got me some pussy willow." The old man hollers: "Hold on, let me get my hat."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a friend chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops