Woman Rights

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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What do you call two black men in bed? Twix

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Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

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fava beans

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Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

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A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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How old is your mom? Old.

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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TIMMAH!

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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