Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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I can't see my forehead

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

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Q: What did the student say to the teacher? A: The answer is four.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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